"Official" Draft 2: Soldier story

Below is a second draft to the Soldier story. I've refrained from giving myself too strick of visuals and page/panel breakdowns just so I can mainipulate the sotrytelling more in the physical page-layout/roughing stage. Otherwise if a panel doesn't suit the page and I have to push it along (or cut something), then I ruin the page structures for the remaining story. Plus I think better as a drawer than I writer I believe...

“THE SOLDIER” DRAFT 2 BY PAUL MASON

BLACK page

“Soldiers when in desperate straits lose the sense of fear. If there is
no place of refuge, they will stand firm. If they are in hostile country,
they will show a stubborn front. If there is no help for it, they will
fight hard.”
-Sun Tzu - The Art of War.

DIALOGUE FOR COMIC BOOK

EXT. NEW GUINEA JUNGLE 1943 – DUSK- PAGE 1

Full Page Close Up of shadowed SOLDIER.

Text: New Guinea Jungle – 1943. Matilda tanks unloaded
at Scarlet Beach were needed inland. The treacherous
push through dense jungle and steep terrain toward
Sattelberg was to be fraught with danger, especially
for the Brave men of the 9th Division AIF providing
protection for the tanks from Enemy Soldiers.
Amongst the day and night battles with roadblocks,
intense skirmishes and moving sweeps of Enemy soldiers,
word spreads of a Digger who wears a leather mask,
who’s forearms bear the Aussie Southern cross and who
fights like nothing they’ve ever seen.

He is the Soldier.

Page 2

Dense wet jungle. Faint sounds of gunfire can be heard
in the distance. A lone SOLDIER emerges from the
shadowy trees.

SOLIDER (V/O)
Seperated from my Company.
Ambushed. The Enemy flanked us.
Stupid. Should have been paying
attention. We we split so quick all
we could do was scatter.Low on
Ammo, Covered in mud (goes without
saying here.) Mild malaria. Haven’t
slept for days. Blood on my arm.
Don’t think it’s mine.

The SOLDIER turns his head towards the bushes and cocks
his Owen Machine Gun.

Page 3 - (splash-credits)
SOLDIER (CONT V/O)
Rustling in Bushes. Too quiet for
soldiers.

He props himself behind a tree, Gun raised at the
ready. Listening intently, Birds fly out of the trees.

SOLDIER (CONT)
Hmmph. Gotta keep moving. Smells
like rain’s coming.

Page 4
Establishment shot of the Jungle. The SOLDIER continues
his journey.

SOLDIER (CONT)
Trail’s gone cold. Lost the
Footprints at the start of the
river. Jungle’s so thick though, it
wouldn’t give a those bastards with
hostages too many options.

The SOLDIER reaches the trail again and crouches down.

SOLDIER (CONT)
Christ I feel like a steak...

page 5

The SOLDIER remembers a barbeque in the past.

SOLDIER
Sunday Arvo Barbie, Mate’s kids
running around, Footy on the
Wireless, Elizabeth laughing and
joking...
Those beautiful blue eyes, warm
soft skin. So peaceful...

The SOLDIER shakes his head

SOLDIER
No. Focus. Can’t go home to her if
you’re dead, can you?

Page 6

The SOLDIER slumps onto his knees in the mud.

SOLDIER
Why am I even here?...No. Gotta
find the boys.
Stay Strong. Get up.

I made a promise.

page 7

EXT. MAKESHIFT CAMP NEW GUINEA JUNGLE – DAY
Australian Soldiers sitting in scattered groups,
writing letters, detailing maps. A smaller soldier sits
against a tree reading a comic book.

TEXT: 9th Division Headquarters, somewhere East of
Jivevaneng. The Past.

SOLDIER (CONT)
Kevin Kirby, barely out of school.
Stupid little bloke, young, brash,
loved his comic books. All about
heroes or something. Masked men,
Bushrangers. Always going on about
‘em. Drove the rest of us bananas.

The SOLDIER (unmasked) stands with his arms folded over
the smaller soldier.

SOLDIER
S’pose to be cleaning weapons.
Instead I find him bludging under a
tree.

I tell him “Bushrangers were
Robbers, Killers. Some heroes you
look up to, Private.”

SOLDIER (CONT)
Kevin smiled. “Most were killers,
this bloke’s different.

Still panels from KEVIN’s comic book show a masked man
battling Bushrangers and rounding them up.

SOLDIER (CONT)
He does have powers like other
comic heroes, he’s just a bloke
like you and me who he just felt he
needed to act. Not a copper, not a
robber or a killer, just someone
who kept his home and family safe,
and the lives of others safe.”
He chose to wear a mask, and fight
fire with fire. Not as just an
ordinary man, but as something
more.

The SOLDIER dismisses Kevin’s story and walks away.

SOLDIER (CONT)
A need to act? I shrugged at Kevin.
Wasn’t my thing. I was fighting
thousands of miles away from home.
Campaign after campaign, watching
my mates die. I was tired. I didn’t
want to hear Kev’s stupid story.

Cut to:
EXt. New Guinea Jungle 1943 - Dusk

The SOLDIER pauses, before running into the bushes.

SOLDIER (CONT)
Why am I here? It took a Brave man
to show me.

CUT TO:
FLASHBACK EXT. NEW GUINEA JUNGLE TRAIL – DAY

Australian soldiers batten down in a jungle trench
under enemy fire. The SOLDIER returns machine gun fire
to enemy soldiers in the bushes ahead.

KEVIN
How we doing?! Is the roadblock
clear?!

THE SOLDIER
Bloody Hell Kev, just stay down
alright?!

CUT BACK next panel.

EXT. NEW GUINEA JUNGLE 1943 - NIGHT

The SOLDIER sprints through the bushes and perches onto
a branch overlooking the enemy soldiers and hostages.

SOLDIER (CONT)
Those bloody comics; me and the
boys thought Kev was too young, no
good to us.

CUT TO: NEXT PANEL
FLASHBACK EXT. NEW GUINEA JUNGLE TRAIL - DAY

Australian Soldiers continue firing at enemies. An
enemy soldier from out of the jungle launches a hand
grenade into the Australian trench. Kevin yells, and
without hesitating, rips off his helmet, shoves SOLDIER
aside and dives in towards the grenade.
There is an explosion, Black rest of page.

TEXT: They shall grow not old, as
we that are left grow old. Age
shall nor weary them, nor the years
condemn. At the going down of the
sun and in the morning, we will
remember them.

LEST WE FORGET

CUT TO: NEXT PAGE

EXT. NEW GUINEA JUNGLE 1943 - NIGHT

The SOLDIER grits his teeth then leaps down in between
the hostages and the Enemy soldiers.

SOLDIER (CONT)
I understand Kev. A need to act. To
keep lives safe.

The enemy soldiers freeze. The SOLDIER raises his
Machine Gun. As he pulls the trigger, the gun jams.

SOLDIER (WORD BALLOON)
Bugger.

The enemy soldiers realise and raise their weapons. The
SOLDIER swings the butt of his gun into the head of the
closest enemy while two others fire.

SOLDIER (CONT)
He was more than the ink and paper
comic heroes he read about. He was
a flesh and blood hero who died
saving my life and the lives of his
mates.
It’s only fair that I continue his
bravery. His courage.

Jumping to the side, He grabs two enemies by the collar
and tosses them into trees. The SOLDIER Uppercuts the
next enemy, head butts another and sidekicks the
stomach of one attacking from behind.

SOLDIER (CONT)
So for him, for my mate, for my my
country, and for Elizabeth...I now
act.
To keep lives safe.

The dust settles, all the enemies lay scattered out
cold. The SOLDIER begins to untie the hostages’ hands.

HOSTAGE 1
Thank Christ for you mate...

The SOLDIER quietly touches his brow as a salute.

END.